wanna go halves on a baby?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
