people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
