MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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