I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
