I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
