I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
