I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
