Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Is it penis luge time yet?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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