I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
