Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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