didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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