Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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