the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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