he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
