I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
