you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
