dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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