we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
