I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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