The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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