This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
