are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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