But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
