yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
