I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
