i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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