at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
