My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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