The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
