god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
