I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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