Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
