No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
