he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
