Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
