You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
