if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
