who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
