Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
