Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
