when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
