I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
