something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
