He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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