Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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