I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Randomize
