Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
