This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
