mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
