his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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