He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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