theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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