If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
