Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
